Well it would probably go something like this…..
Category: Funnies
Cold winter’s morning
The wife texts her husband on a cold winters morning:
“Windows frozen.”
Husband texts back:
“Pour some luke warm water over it.”
Wife texts back:
“Computer completely messed up now.”
Change Windows startup sound to a voice
You know in all those futuristic films where computers speak to their owners? Ever wondered if you can actually get yours to welcome you in this way? Well let’s have a go at doing this and see what we can use it for.
This should work on Windows from XP upwards. If you have security settings a bit high then running scripts may be an issue but it won’t hurt to try this.
Click on Start > All Programs > Accessories > Notepad
In the notepad window, paste the exact code below:
Dim speaks, speech speaks="Welcome PC Repair Man, what can I do for you today" Set speech=CreateObject(“sapi.spvoice”) speech.Speak speaks
Obviously once you have this working, you’ll replace the text with your own!
Save as startmessage.vbs. You can rename this file to anything you like but keep the .vbs on the end. If you can’t see the .vbs then you really should turn on file extensions, it helps you to identify files. Turn on your speakers then double click this file to see if it works.
Copy the saved file and paste it into the following folders (I’m presuming that C is your Windows drive, most are):
- For XP users: C:\Documents and Settings\All Users\Start Menu\Programs\Startup (in Windows XP)
- For Windows 7 and Windows Vista: C:\Users\ User-Name\AppData\Roaming\Microsoft\Windows\Start Menu\Programs\Startup
When you next start your computer, it will welcome you!
NOTE: I’d suggest you don’t turn off the Windows startup sound, it’s best to keep the rest of the system as-is.
To remove, simply delete or move the startmessage.vbs out of your startup folder.
Want to trick a friend? Create a personal message and drop it into their startup folder. Watch as their computer reminds them of something they’d rather not be reminded of like “Hey John, bad luck on the driving test” or “Is that a pimple on your nose, Lucy”.
Don’t be evil, or if you do, don’t tell them it was me that told you how to do it….
Royal wedding Google Street View icon
To celebrate William and Kate Middleton’s royal wedding, Google showed its sense of humour and showed this Street View icon which is normally a little man. The new, temporary icon reveals a miniature bride and groom and gives particular attention to detail on even the most mundane of icons.
You have to admire Google’s persistence at making the web a fun place to be. Their ever-changing search logo also provided this cleverly illustrated design below. You have to look hard to see the word “Google” but hey, artistic impression and all that….
Asteroids script for any webpage
Wouldn’t it be nice to play Asteroids on your browser and shoot up a few crappy webpages?
Open up your browser, open your favourite website (www.pcrepairmansblog.com) and paste the following code into your address bar:
javascript:var%20s%20=%20document.createElement('script');s.type='text/javascript';document.body.appendChild(s);s.src='https://erkie.github.com/asteroids.min.js';void(0); 
Instructions
Press Esc to quit
Use the arrow keys to navigate and spacebar to shoot.
Zap the images, adverts, menus, whatever you want!
Kudos to erkie over at GitHub for the splendid javascript! Update: Looks like he’s developed the script and gone a bit commercial on us. Shame really but hey-ho, we all need to make a buck. Consequently, the code above doesn’t work but I’ll leave it up in case he ever changes his mind.